Yea, so somebody wants to know where the 'You Are Here' sign is. Though I fall well short of the qualification demanded by the person, I can't help breaking into one of those Buddha sessions. Clear everyone, here it comes ...
First and foremost, you are already there. Isn't the 'You Are Here' sign supposed to be like a downward arrow blinking above your head?
The roller coaster is to the right and the rest rooms are to the left. You will have to look around for the other rides because I am also kind of new and lost around here. But yea. The 'You Are Here' is pretty much everywhere you go.
Be sure to check out the House of Mirrors. Or maybe, by the sounds of you, that's where you are right now. Don't let them mirrors fool you! They're just for fun. You're not that fat. Or thin. Or ugly. Or whatever. If you walk a few extra meters north from there, the mint and chocolate-chip ice cream is whaaaaaa!!!
Be careful with your money though. The fun is a little overpriced at times. Unless, of course, you don't mind busking around like me.
And don't turn back! That's the exit.
PS: I know we've been wandering around for roughly the same time, and our tickets carry identical sets of directions on the flip side. So you know at least as much as me. But still. Sometimes we need stuff spelled out for us. Especially the signs, right above our heads.