" I like my town, with a little drop of poison
Nobody knows, they're lining up to go insane.

I smoked my friends, down to the filter
But I feel much cleaner, after it's rained ... "
A cycling trip the other week. Five days of craziness. Exhaustion. Broken chains. Strained left knee. Ibuprofen. Amazing scenes from rural northern France. Meeting the one and only citizen of an old abandoned mountain village. Forest camping. Wood and fire. Getting drunk. Making new friends. Bœuf bourguignon. Alabama 3 in the dead of the night in a pine-forest. Kim-chi soup. Orphans: Brawlers, bawlers and bastards.

Coming home to rejection. Sleeping through it. Friends.

What next? What now?

I am tired of the fight. I am tired of defending myself. Of saving up for the rainy days. Of stifling. And gasping. And I want out. I want to breathe. At least for a few careless moments. I want to put down the guns and the binoculars. I want to stop looking at the road which lies ahead. I want to pick a flower from the field, now.

But all that said. I am happy. And I am dissatisfied.

" Leave me alone you big ol' Moon,
the light you cast is just a liar... "

PS1: little drop of poison, tom waits
PS2: shiny things, tom waits