An end. A beginning

I am leaving school today. This is my last blog as an undergraduate. After this I have to pack my computer. I am giving it to my baby brother. I shall be un-computer-ated hence forth. But I will stop by to write posts now and then. And maybe read and write a couple of mails. But don't count on it. You gotto call me!

To the many days that have come and gone. To the many nights. To chances and dreams and other ephemeral things. To the most ephemeral of them all.
The future.



Yea. So. It's over. I am through college. Besides the legalities. Runarounds. Damn them. Now what?
Yestreen. Late late yestreen. I was randomskyping. And I randomed into this person. Sort of helped me with the question. O boy. I am so behind every other 21.9 year old in the universe. Whatever. At least I started. So yea. I am supposed to know what I want in life. I mean I don't see the point. But there's no point in not wanting anything either. So yea. The procedure's simple. You make a list of every damn thing you want to do. Sane things. Insane things. Impossible things. Unpossible things. The next step is to wear earplugs. This is crucial, especially for mediocrity-struck dreamers like this guy writing all this trash. Whatever. Mediocrity is a shitmyth word made up by astute social climbers who cannot appreciate stuff which is not written down in papers and reports and books. So yea. You wear earplugs. And you keep climbing the building, like deaf frogs. And don't listen to no one. Don't take no shit from no one. Just keep walking. And having fun. And all the while, an eye on your list. Again. One might wonder (as I still do) why the fuck do you even need that bugging list. It's distracting. But yea. What else will you do?! You know. Fly someplace? You won't even have the money to walk when papa stops pushing. Whatever. Yea. So. The best thing to do is keep walking. With a list and a walkman, or as in my case, with Jenny. Your nostrils full of oxygen. Your ears full of music.
Whew. I think I wrote that down as a quick reference for myself.
Whatever. It's just a beginners guide to obtaining direction you know. So yea. It's childish etc. But it's what I will be starting off with. And yea. Hurrah for Latvians with free advice!!

Funeral home, funeral home
Going to the funeral home
Got me a coffin shiny and black
I’m goin’ to the funeral and I’m never coming back
- Daniel Johnston

1. Don't take no shit from no one: An evening with Billy Joel
2. Late late yestreen: Ballad of Sir Patrick Spence!


To the only woman who ever mattered

Is the moon broom Kiki? Mushroom?
I was wandering meandering like a flautist in F in an orchestra of G and I got hit by this train. I wonder where in Lebanon? Black ribbons windblown Hi Hi!!

Mother. Many twenty years and one ago we were one. I was a seed straw-piping your blood. You didn't mind. You never mind blind to cancers. Your breath. Like the atmosphere. Moving. Breathing for all the earth.
But you know now. Now. The vampire is tired. The vampire wants to cut off his fangs thangs and lie down in his box. Wants to far float on green clouds. Some place there is no friend. Nor foe. A new identity. An old trade. Anonymous. But nun any sweat you. Still your blood running in. Running out. Of this stupid contraption. You made it. Look. It pulses. Whack O Whack O. What courage! Look. Floating in shit. Still. Whack O Whack O. What dogged determination. You put some of your Whack O in it while they weren't looking, didn't you? Now it jumps. How it jumps! That's far enough little Whack O. Look. Look!! What unending perseverance. As if it wants to break free. As if it wants to tear this bosom apart and run right back to you. Someday then. When I nun need it nunymore. I will wrap it in a white sheet. I shall wrap it. Just like you had done me. It shan't be easy to get rid of it. But I will do it. I must. So. I shall take it, and send it to the postmaster. The moon shall be full that day. And beside him Lucy. Strong as when she was when your feathers were not so grey. And when you see her there, you will know how brutal I was. And how sad for my lack of blood. But for now, I must. Just a little more. One drop of shining glistening red. Then no more. Then no more. I am ashamed.
Much embraces. Much gratitude.
Much loves darling.


When you move like a jellyfish

Just a little more now. Three steps, to be precise.
Druggies and Junkies. They represent us. They beat us. Time after time. Us. Non fliers. We are the bedrock, on which barbiturate must build its strong and cruel empire. While we lay down our souls to Jenny. In white. And we lay down our flesh to Mephistopheles. In black, not red.
Yeah. So there's this exam tomorrow. Lots to study still. I think it's going to be a long night. I hate such nights. And it's a beautiful cool breeze outside too. After a 42C day!

Walk. Keep walking. The road don't end. Nowhere. Keep walking.
If the road don't end why don't we just call it a day and camp right here?
We aren't sure the road never ends.
But you just said ...
I am the voice in your head. I lie habitually. Now walk.
But why?
Bubbly toes did too.

It's as simple as something that nobody knows that
Her eyes are as big as her bubbly toes

On the feet of the queen of the hearts of the cards

And her feet are infested with tar balls and scars
- 'Bubbly toes', Jack Johnson